Balance

Alyssa centering herself

A state of equilibrium. It's not easy to achieve balance. In fact, I think it's one of the hardest things to do. Personally, it's my overarching goal -on a daily basis. I try to balance my thoughts (all the tasks and to-do's for the day between work and home); I try to balance my body (making healthy choices against pushing myself too hard); I try to balance my attention (towards family, friends, the dog, and myself); and I try to balance my soul (reminding myself often that my daily struggles pale in comparison to what else is going on in the world, or even just in my life as a whole).

It's not easy to achieve balance. In fact, I often fail. Much like Alyssa these days who's great on her feet, but she'll still trip; she'll stumble and fall; but she gets back up right away, dusts herself off and keeps going. That's the only way to achieve balance, I think. You've got to work at it, and you've got to keep going.

My biggest struggle is balancing work and home life. I love my career, no question about it. It also helps pay the bills, no question about that either. But if I could have my way, in a heartbeat I would choose to stay home with Alyssa more. As it is now, Thursday nights are my favorite time of the week: because it's technically the start of three whole days in Alyssa-Land. I love working from home on Fridays. Most of my work gets done in the morning before Dennis leaves, and during Alyssa's two nap times. Lunch is a treat -especially now that Alyssa eats the same thing I do. The act of sharing a meal is centering. That is my mid-day achievement of balance. Alyssa balances me. She pulls me away from the challenges of work and brings me back to reality. She lifts my spirits when they're down and battered from a long day's work and pulls me back up. She makes me laugh when the frustrations of the day make me want to cry. And she makes me sigh in contentment when I'm seeing things half empty, instead of half full. I love Fridays.

Alyssa has a great way of achieving her own equilibrium - when she gets too excited, too tired, or too upset, she comforts herself quickly by sucking her thumb. She's learned very early on how to cope and soothe herself on her own. I should learn from my daughter. My own version of the thumb suck is thinking of Alyssa. She is my comfort, she is my safe place, she is my equilibrium. Alyssa balances me.